Barbados Day 10 – Torrential rain, taxi, and the flight home

I arrived back from the shop just in time, at 7.30am it started to rain and this time it did not stop until 1pm. Beki went to work at 8am and I sat on the veranda reading and listening to the rain beating down on the corrugated iron roofs. The taxi man’s son stepped off the pavement and his shoes disappeared in to the river running down the road, back indoors to change, his daughters were wiser; they used an umbrella and avoided the river. A little later the taxi man returned with his daughters, no school for them today. Glen, Sam’s cousin didn’t arrive to open his hairdressing business either.
When it rains something’s just don’t happen on the Island. “Hey Boss it’s raining, can’t get in today”, think I’ll try that one!

Sam gets home at midday and we have a last rum and lime and at 1pm the taxi man reverses up to the door and I’m on my way, along past the KPMG office, the Bank, the Royal Caribbean hotel, and the Virgin Atlantic Office. Then we pass OPA’s, Bubba’s, Rockley beach, Mojo’s, the supermarket and the Ernst and Young office. This stretch of the coast has become so familiar over my times here, I know every pothole. A last look at the ocean and at the Gap we turn up towards the ABC highway and soon the airport comes into view. It’s all quite modern now, with its Concorde cabin and nose shaped roofs all pointing in different directions. I book in and then spend the last money on a couple of beers whilst chatting to a British Merchant navy officer flying home with BA to his wife, children and a DIY list that will keep him going for his 4 months leave. He tells me about Guyana customs and paperwork problems.

We take off on time after the champagne and rise up into a truly fantastic sunset; the clouds are red, pink, and purple. I can see the south east coast, the Crane, Bottom bay and the east point, and then we turn north east and I can see the Atlantic east coast stretching away and then as we rise up towards the cruising altitude, darkness envelopes us. I eat the dinner, accompanied by red wine and Bailey’s and sleep until only 1 hour from Gatwick.

Barbados Day 9 – The best time of the day

The best time to drive in this country is during the half hour before sunrise when it’s still only half light and even the shabby buildings look good with the silhouettes of the palm trees behind them. We drop Sam off at the radio station at 5.15am and head off to Oistens to watch the sunrise and get a few photos taken. As we pass Garrison Savannah, the grooms are walking the racehorses along the road to take them to the beach, these are young ones, two year olds playing up, in the half light you just see their shapes, and the detail is obscured. At 5.30 Sam is reading the news bulletin, and then says hello to us.

We arrive at Oistens and get the pictures taken as the sun comes up and Barbados comes alive, people appear waiting for the first buses to take them to work, the traffic volume increases, a man swims out to his boat in his underpants with his snorkeling gear and his fish spear ready to start his day, a guy is sweeping around the front of a shop, a pointless futile task as he sweeps the same 3 pieces of rubbish from one side to another and then leaves them there. Give a man a broom and we can conquer unemployment!

Some chickens wonder up to the door of Debbie's rum shop, lunch is walking itself to the table this morning, a young dog appears and starts rounding the chickens up but they take no notice and congregate around the car pecking at the dirt.

In the fish market there are a few people, probably waiting for boats to come in so the catch can be gutted. There is a sign on a tree saying that the fruit is poisonous and do not sit or stand under the tree as any water dripping off will cause blisters. There is a table and two benches positioned under its branches, only in Barbados…….

Later we go into Bridgetown and I decide I’ll walk back along the beaches; Carlisle Bay is magnificent, last year I saw it from the sea sitting eating lunch on a catamaran. I get down to Coconut beach and see Ed and Lou sitting there, they were at the bar the first time I went there and had also joined us at the Rooster so I sat and drank through the lunchtime happy hour in the rain with them. Ed’s moved from the Rum to the Bank’s beer over the past few days, a wise choice. Another young woman comes up and starts talking in a animated way about how she had been to Mojo’s the night before and spent the night partying with what sounded suspiciously like Garvey and his friends, they had been playing there last night. She had quite a smile on her face. I just smiled inwardly.

I picked up some more beers from the Tigermart and a liver cutter for my lunch and got back home just before the next bout of rain unleashed itself on the Island.

Well my holiday this year is nearly over, I guess I’ll just have to start planning next year’s trip to Little England.

One Love. Easy Man.

Barbados Day 8 – Is it going to rain all day?

Monday morning it rained quite hard up to just before 8am, the road turned into a river at times. There is a taxi just outside here and every morning at about 6.30am a guy comes along and washes it, even this morning he was out there cleaning away, sheltering from the rain each time it came. About 8am I take my clothes to the laundry, you could probably lean out of the window and throw the bag in through the laundry doorway, it’s that close. Beki is out at the Gallery and Sam’s on the Radio and I’m just taking it easy.

At 10am my clothes have been washed, dried, and folded ready for me to collect, what a good service. I take a leisurely stroll along the road up to the supermarket and the tax free shop and drop in to Mojo’s for a couple of beers. This bar has walls covered in pictures of old rock stars, Janis Joplin, Keith Richards, the Beatles, Bob Dylan and of course Bob Marley, and many others. Mojo’s has recently been taken over by friends of Beki and Sam’s but they have kept the décor the same.

On the way back there is a washing line strung up between 2 trees with tee shirts for sale, Bob Marley and Che Guevara being on 90 per cent of them, I’ve never seen anyone buying anything here.

At Rockley beach I’m pleased to see that “I’m here to help you” is not there to help me and I get some lunch to take home from the food truck. For only 10 BBD’s you get a plate full of whatever is being sold, it was enough for both Sam and I and we sat on the veranda as the next load of rain came across. This time I couldn’t see the ocean which is only 150 yards away. I read my book for awhile and play on Sam’s guitar.

Later I get down to the beach which is quite empty, only two fat old women at the hotel beach bar, I don't go there. Then I went up to the garage to pick up some beers to drink during the next rainfall.

Just another lazy Monday.

Barbados Day 7 – Woman, be there on Friday

Sunday morning, lazy time read my book, shower, wonder down to the nearest garage, called Tigermart, that’s Esso in England, remember the old advertisement “we’ll put a tiger in the tank”. I pick up eggs and bread; the eggs are loose so you have you be careful carrying them home. I buy Fishcakes; they have a hot cupboard with fast food items in there, chicken wings and fishcakes etc. Fishcakes are not really Fishcakes, they are Fishballs cooked like One Hung Lo would cook prawns in batter in a Chinese restaurant and they are delicious and extremely cheap. I wonder back in the sunshine past the beaches where the surf is pounding in and the wind is sighing through the palm trees, a bit like a Sunday morning in England! Eggs and bacon and toast for breakfast, very familiar. This place is not called Little England for no reason and Sunday is quite English, more English than England is these days, people are dressed up for Church and shops shut at 1pm. It’s a quiet day, but not so quiet for Sam who has been out since early morning working.

Now you should be feeling quite envious, as I go with Sam and Beki to Bathsheba on the Atlantic coast to watch filming on location being carried out. Imagine bikini clad actress’s standing in the surf in this Tropical paradise with some dreadlocked lean mean vision of a young Bajan like Garvey making all the women feel real hot, with some cool rum punch on a table, everybody suntanned while we all look on sitting in the shade in chairs with Director written on the back with an ice cold drink. Carry on dreaming.

Sam arrived back from the morning filming done here in Bridgetown and we head off to the location shoot. First we go up to the Pines area to pick up Barbados’s latest superstar, a young guy called Hal Linton. Sam describes The Pines area as Bad Boy Alley and Hal actually tells me that sometime back he had been shot at. We slowly make our way up to Bathsheba which is an amazing place where people come to surf in the Soup bowl.

We pull up outside a Minimart shop, this is our location. The owner closes up at 1pm and we are inside a shop which is impossible to keep cool, with hot lights, cameras, 7 people sweating like crazy, in order to get a few seconds of film for a Digitel Q Points advert.
(That’s like advertising for say Orange in England). The 1st 45 minutes are taken up with positioning the equipment, keeping Hal from looking too sweaty, and placing the right advertising material over the window behind the shop counter and ensuring that the shop assistant is seated correctly and smiles at the right time. Hal is pacing around practicing walking up to the counter, flipping his mobile phone open, pointing his phone at the advert behind the assistant and saying top me up with some of those.

Eventually all is ready, even though the shop has a big closed sign up outside, people still try to get in past the camera set up in the doorway. We have been here an hour and then it starts to roll, half a dozen takes, followed by Sam barking instructions, and another dozen takes and about 1 second of advert is in the can, as they say. Now we get down to the close up of the receipt being printed out and the shop assistant handing Hal the receipt from the electronic point of sale machine, she’s not bad, this shop assistant, she obviously done this a lot, and 15 minutes later another second of advert is also in the can. We are now pouring water from the cool cabinet down our throats, as everything gets set up for the big bit. Hal now has to use the phone to call the bikini clad women he had been chatting too earlier by a pool somewhere to ask for a date next Friday.( all that part of the Advert with the bikini clad girl had been done in the morning back in Bridgetown). They didn’t use the one we had photographed on Day 1, she was apparently too short for the clients liking.

Just as Hal is about to speak an Ice Cream van goes past, but it didn’t matter as the microphone on the hairy boom 2 inches from his face wasn’t working. That was put right, Hal started his call, and half way in a local rummy enters the shop wanting cigarettes. Hal recomposes himself and a dozen takes later another few seconds of advert is in the can.
It’s now 3pm.

Beki, Sam, and I leave the crew to pack up and take Hal back home, and we head up the road to the Atlantis hotel where we are now too late for the lunchtime buffet but, who you know and all that, the owner is quite happy to supply us with plates of whatever there is still available and we sit at the best table in the house overlooking the ocean. The beers arrive just as the rain starts, driven in off the Atlantic by a ferocious wind which has us all gripping the tablecloth to keep it down. Beki gets some photos of the rainbow, whilst the owner chats to Sam about theatre matters and another beer arrives. When the rain stops, the plates of food are brought to the table, we had seen no menu; nobody had asked what we wanted although Beki had said she was vegetarian. I had chicken, macaroni pie, rice and peas, roasted vegetables, battered deep fried pumpkin and a side plate of beans, pickled pork and salad, a wonderful spread.
Later we stopped at the end of the airport runway and took pictures of the sunset and planes coming in. I had a rum punch on the veranda and was asleep by 9pm

Barbados Day 6 – Roadhouse at the Red Rooster

OPA’s on the Friday night was good, Garvey and Alex playing acoustic guitar and singing with Toby Armstrong putting in a guest appearance. The beer came in an ice bucket, 5 bottles for 20 BBD’s. Beki and I went on to the Gap where Salsa dancing was the order of the day. Got to sleep at 2.30am and was woken up again at 5.30am to go selling at the Farmers market this morning. Did some celebrity spotting there, Mike Atherton is on the Island.

Friday at OPA’s turned out to be good but Saturday’s entertainment was outstanding and the day will long be remembered for the performance given at the Rooster by the members of Roadhouse. I walked down there with Sam who was standing in on Bass, he hadn’t played with the band for a long time and they gave him no mercy, immediately introducing him as Samud “Rusty” Ali.

Kirk the drummer sat up the corner keeping up an impeccable beat throughout the performance. A lot of old greats were played, the band was fronted by “Black Magic” Garvey Griffith and Toby “Fender Bender” Armstrong, great singing by Garvey whose accomplished acoustic guitar playing provided an excellent platform for Toby Armstrong’s stunning lead riffs. That guitar was made to cry, scream, laugh, and howl, no mercy being shown, a joy to listen to. We were treated to Black Magic Woman, All along the Watchtower, Jamming, No woman no Cry, amongst others, which had the mixed audience of tourists and locals jumping and clamoring for more. Even a cricket wandered in and leaped about for awhile during happy hour. Humorous banter from the band filled in between songs and their biggest fan was introduced…….it was 3 foot square and white being held up by the bar manager keeping the guys cool. Sam played well throughout and sang one time, and during Knocking on Heaven’s Door, Alex got out of his seat and took over the singing earning great applause.

Perhaps one day they will get the chance to play in England, I hope so.

Beki spent most of the evening up in the Bush, otherwise called St Lucy’s parish, taking photos at a client’s family party. She got the “I’m here to help you” routine from the Valet so I reckon that Local Government training manual is doing the rounds

Barbados Day 5 – Northern Dancer
Still rules OK

I forgot to say yesterday that I was quite pleased to see that the art world does not change as the year pass by. At the gallery as we were looking at the pictures, the owner was taking down all the artwork that one particular artist had produced and was placing it onto a table. We asked what’s happening here and were told that some potential buyer was coming to view this artist’s work. Beki then said “Oh right has he died then”. The answer came back, “No but he is quite ill” followed later by “Of course I hope he gets better”…….Its good to see that, as it’s always been, an artists work is expected to be more valuable when the artist is no longer alive. I just didn’t realize that vulture culture was so up front.

This morning we visited the printer again and picked up the canvas version of Ayers Rock. It was absolutely superb, the rest of the order was not ready, it was running in Bajan time. We went to the fish market and I was pleased to see that fish was being sold by the pound weight, unlike at home where we can only sell England by the Kilo these days. I wondered what PC Tourist Tone would have said if he had ever bothered to visit the Bridgetown fish market. Tonight Sam and I eat Flying Fish, and in the freezer we now have a large amount of Tuna and Marlin to eat later. It was unbelievably cheap.

I decided after finishing the Rum Punch at lunchtime and then making up a new jug full I would spend the afternoon down at the local beach which is behind a large old hotel. I found my way there and ordered a beer at the hotel’s beach bar. I soon found myself in conversation with some of the hotel guests and the barman. As the afternoon went on an very old lady came along leaning heavily on her stick. The barman mixed up a drink which I perceived to be a mixture of white wine and tomato juice, but I could be persuaded that I was wrong. As the old lady arrived he handed her the drink and helped her into a chair.

After she had finished the drink it seemed she no longer required the assistance of the stick and joined us at the bar where she proceeded to wind up the barman and the hotel’s security guard about football and the significance of a number 9 shirt. All this was going on as she downed another of her favorite concoction. As the argument got more intense and the Security guard had reeled off the names of a number of star players who over the years had worn a number 10 shirt, I suggested that she had achieved her goal of winding up the other people and perhaps we could call it a draw. She said that she just loved sport and enjoyed talking about it, I asked if she was Canadian as that was what her accent seemed to be and she explained that she had lived in Barbados for 44 years having married and divorced a Bajan. She had nothing much good to say about Bajan men, either white or black and cracked up when I told her about the American comedian who had said that he had no problem with Gays getting married because then they could be as miserable as any Man and his wife.

Suddenly she sprang a sporting question on me, “who was the greatest Canadian racehorse” To most people I guess they would have thought that this was a trick question, but (yes I am going to brag a little here) my Bank’s soaked brain realized that there was only one answer and I replied “Well it has to be Northern Dancer born in 1961”. Suddenly she was animated; nobody had ever given her the answer before. She tried to catch me with another question about an American Triple Crown winner but again I got it right, we were talking about Seattle Slew. She tried once more and asked me about a great racehorse who was around in America way back in the early part of the 20th Century. As I mentioned Man O’War she capitulated and bought me a beer. I asked her out of curiosity what had she done in the 44 years she had lived in Barbados and she told me she had owned and ran this hotel until recently passing the reins onto her children.

The printer delivered the rest of the canvasses just now and when Beki has finished sorting them out we’ll be heading down to OPA’s to listen to Garvy play guitar and sing

Barbados Day 4 – Photo Shoot, Green Monkeys and Rum Punch

Yesterday Beki fired me as her assistant because I forgot to remind her to get some prints done but this morning I was reinstated and promoted to Lighting Assistant, We arrived at this large house up in St Joseph’s parish to take some shots of an artists work for a magazine article, and she had to take photos of 8 paintings. This house was amazing; most of the rooms were huge, bigger even than the office I work in back in England. The Studio was up on the 1st floor and there was a huge veranda which overlooked the sugar cane fields and various fields belonging to the farm next door.

The green monkeys were climbing up the breadfruit trees, and then going down across the road into a sugar cane field. Green Monkeys are quite malicious and the artist told us about one of them that lived up in the nature reserve. Apparently up there they breed rabbits, mostly as food for the large snakes they keep, and this particular monkey enjoyed leaping onto a rabbits back, grabbing both its ears with one hand and then spanking the rabbit on its backside with its other hand, and then as the rabbit took off would dig its feet in and ride on it Kieran Fallon style.

Well this being Barbados, I’d say that was quite plausible. After we finished the shoot we went back home and I then made up some Rum Punch. Sam swears that my Rum Punch is the best on the island and I have to say that 2 of those and you are fighting fit.

There are many sides to Barbados, I guess that mostly people from Europe see it as a tropical paradise but there are other sides to it which I am lucky to see. I’ll write more about all that another day before I consume any Rum Punch. Tonight I eat Marlin...... I didn’t fancy the thoroughbred rabbit that was on the menu.

Barbados Day 3 - Traffic Jams in Bridgetown.

I had a strange dream in the night, a green monkey was standing on the roof opposite talking to me, guess what he was saying, “I’m here to help you”, oh no not again.
Perhaps I should just write about the ordinary, give my mind a rest.

. In the morning we were OK, we left home about 11am and I got to see local people working. We took the Datastick to the printer who lived and working in an area of Bridgetown up behind the cinema, the workshop room was air-conditioned which was a great help, as it was so hot his 2 dogs couldn’t be bothered to even get up to see who we were.. I got to see a 36 by 16inch picture being printed out. Ayers Rock before the sun came up, something Beki was working on for a client, it was most impressive. Now it will be printed out on canvass, along with my own orders and a whole lot of other stuff.

We left there for the west coast, the platinum coast as its known, that’s the Caribbean sea, its hotter there as the winds are not noticeable, the winds usually come in from Africa, so the east and south coasts are more breezier. The west coast is where the big money goes on holiday. We sat at the surfside bar which is not where the big money goes to eat but is actually a great place to watch the sun go down as that coincides nicely with the happy hour as I had found out 2 years ago. This is a bar that some journo described as seedy after he had followed Tony Blair there last year when tourist Tone wanted to see a football match on the telly.

After a late lunch of Dolphin fish (nothing to do with dolphins) I sat in the sea and then coming back from lazing on the Surfside beach up the West Coast we hit the early evening rush hour traffic, 1 hour to do 5 miles, the M25 doesn’t even begin to compare with this. Still it gave me time to take a good look at the 100ft high advertisement hanging from the bank building, my son in law looks quite good in that one, sort of like a pleasantly benevolent bank manager welcoming you in, reality has nothing to do with it. George Orwells 1984 came to mind, He was also in the supermarket as we saw later advertising something else.

Champers gallery was good, full of local artists paintings, some brilliant cricket paintings and lots of other good works, some with price tags the value of a backstreet in Sunderland and some that were very expensive. Beki’s exhibits were positively moderately priced in comparison. We had also been to Tides on the west coast which has lots of art on display and the good news is they want some of her work next month to be displayed there.

No surreal events to write up today.

Barbados Day 2 - I Am Here To Help…You

I decided to go to Rockley Beach whilst Beki was busy at the Mall, so as I walk onto the beach I am immediately asked if I require a deckchair. The man didn’t seem too impressed as I answered with the words, 5 dollars? However he agreed the price and I explained that after I had been up the beach I would return and hire a chair.

I walked up the beach and took a look around and returned to where the chairs were. The man rose to his feet and took my 5 dollars, he was old thin and white and spoke with a broad Irish accent. I asked him where he came from and he told me he had always lived in Barbados. Next came the story, its how it works out here, the beggars in London could learn a thing or two from this man. I got the “it was my birthday last week” opening gambit and of course I asked if he had a good day, The reply was no, he had suffered a fall the day before and all his spare money had to be used up for medical bills and what with the cost of everything else he had no money for food. I answered with the words “so that’s why you work this concession then to earn money to live”. This was evidently not what was expected, I was probably supposed to say “how sad, here’s 20 dollars, get over to the food truck by the Taxi’s and get a meal”. I then got the full works “I don’t own the chairs; I’m working for the owner. It’s very hard”

Being kind hearted I said that I was going to the huts to get a beer and before I could speak further he said “you can get me a coke“He went on to say he would of course keep an eye on my bag and used the phrase spoken slowly with deliberate pauses between words “I am here to help you”. I thought this sounded remarkably like some phrase from say, perhaps a local Government customer care training manual.

I got my beer and Lester’s coke and settled down to read my book and soak up some sunshine. About 20 minutes passed and Lester was standing beside my chair saying that if I wanted to go into the water he would of course look after my things, again finishing with the words “I am here to help you” but adding this time that “I was also there to help him”. I said that maybe I would go into the water later but for now I was quite happy reading my book and he wondered back to his spot under the trees.

20 minutes later. He was back standing in the way of the sun, “I’m here to help you, and you are here to help me” I replied that is the way of this world and he repeated the phrase and then chatted on about his problems for a minute before being interrupted by a potential new customer.

Another 20 minutes passed and yes you’ve guessed it, there he is again “I’m here to help you and you are here to help me” I’m starting to wonder what’s going on, hasn’t he realized he’s not getting any more money, Perhaps he’s actually some form of manufactured automaton programmed to repeat every 20 minutes, It’s a bit unnerving when every part of the phrase is being repeated exactly the same each time, and what’s worse he’s not doing it to anybody else. I decided it was time to move on so I read for another 19 minutes and then abruptly got up, and said “I’m off now” that bamboozled him, he stopped motionless halfway between sitting and getting up and then slowly sat down again.

I went along the beach; a young Bajan with dreadlocks approached me and asked if I required a deckchair, I thought about it briefly, I was almost tempted to say “I’m here to help you” but thought better of it, said “nah man I’m good” and went on my way.

Barbados Day 1 - A day of Three Halves.

Today has been a long day, whether it is measured in English time or Bajan time. When I measure it in Bajan time it take on a certain surrealness, waking up at 2am in the Hilton Hotel Gatwick and upon boarding the plane at 6am I find the flight attendent handing me a glass of champagne to drink. Two hours later I have eaten a three course dinner washed down with four glasses of red wine and finished off with a Baileys to compliment the coffee.....all before 8am. I must have a word with Virgin Atlantic about their meal timing.

Amazingly upon arrival at Grantley Adams airport at 2pm I find efficiency has taken over, and I'm out of the airport into a taxi and at Beki and Sams by 3pm. Even the immigration official was in a good mood asking me how I am. Sam says rum and lime juice is available and I consume a whole load before Beki arrives home at 6pm. I discover that I have joined the techno age when I find that my 30 quid mobile phone does work outside England and instead of Orange I am able to use either Cable and Wireless or Digicel networks.

Just as I think I'm going to have an easy time eating dinner and forcing a final rum and lime down my throat, Sam says he needs a photo of some young lady in her bikini and off we go to the other side of Oistens so that Beki can take a photo of this future actress posing in her bikini in the dark. I tried to get Beki to take a photo of the aforesaid person sitting in a Christine Keeler pose but it was not deemed suitable.

Eventually we ate and now I'm having my final Rum and Lime.